words of wisdom
Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 1:20 pm
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
> > flipping
> > the channels.
> > She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> > I said, 'Dust.'
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
> > upcoming
> > anniversary.
> > She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0
> > to
> > 200 in about 3 seconds.'
> > I bought her a scale.
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> > When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
> > her someplace expensive....
> > so, I took her to a gas station...
> > And then the fight started....
> >
> >
> > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> > reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
> > her
> > drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
> > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
> > girlfriend..
> > I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
> >
> > those many years ago, an d I hear she hasn't been
> > sober since.'
> > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
> > person could go on celebrating that long?'
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> > I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> > alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
> >
> > his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo
> > stressed and little things
> > just seem funny?
> > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> >
> > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> > 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
> > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
> > which one are you?'
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> > THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
> >
> > When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
> > kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
> > But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
> > first, the truck, the car, playing golf "
> > Always something more important to me.
> > Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
> > When
> > I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
> > grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
> > scissors.
> > I watched silently for a short time and then went into
> > the
> > house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out
> > again
> > I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish
> > cutting the
> > grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
> >
> > The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have
> > a
> > limp.
> >
> > Moral to this story :
> >
> >
> > Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always
> > right,
> > and the other is the husband.
> > flipping
> > the channels.
> > She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> > I said, 'Dust.'
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
> > upcoming
> > anniversary.
> > She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0
> > to
> > 200 in about 3 seconds.'
> > I bought her a scale.
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> > When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
> > her someplace expensive....
> > so, I took her to a gas station...
> > And then the fight started....
> >
> >
> > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> > reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
> > her
> > drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
> > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
> > girlfriend..
> > I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
> >
> > those many years ago, an d I hear she hasn't been
> > sober since.'
> > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
> > person could go on celebrating that long?'
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> > I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> > alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
> >
> > his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo
> > stressed and little things
> > just seem funny?
> > Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> >
> > He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> > 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
> > So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then
> > which one are you?'
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> > THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
> >
> > When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
> > kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
> > But, somehow I always had something else to take care of
> > first, the truck, the car, playing golf "
> > Always something more important to me.
> > Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
> > When
> > I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
> > grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
> > scissors.
> > I watched silently for a short time and then went into
> > the
> > house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out
> > again
> > I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish
> > cutting the
> > grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
> >
> > The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have
> > a
> > limp.
> >
> > Moral to this story :
> >
> >
> > Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always
> > right,
> > and the other is the husband.