A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.
This is a herd of sheep. ....
Now give me back my dog.
Cowboy named Bud.
Have fun with some jokes. Just make sure they are not racist, topless, or too offensive. As you can see we are pretty liberal on what is allowed just don't get offended if you push the envelope and something gets deleted. ;-)
Moderators: E_, LC addict, FasterThanYou, crwky
- $parechange
- MASTER MEMBER
- Posts: 4195
- Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:56 am
Return to “Jokes and other hooey fooey”
Jump to
- Forum News
- ↳ Welcome to the Forum!
- Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lake Cumberland
- ↳ General Forum of Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lost and Found
- ↳ News
- ↳ Fishing on Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Marinas
- ↳ Alligator I
- ↳ Alligator II
- ↳ Beaver Creek Marina
- ↳ Conley Bottom Resort
- ↳ Burnside Marina
- ↳ Grider Hill
- ↳ Jamestown Marina
- ↳ LeesFord
- ↳ The Harbor Bar/Grill
- ↳ London Dock
- ↳ Omega Marina
- ↳ Rowena Marina
- ↳ State Dock
- ↳ Wolf Creek Marina
- ↳ Cave Springs Marina
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Campgrounds (users section)
- ↳ Fall Creek Recreation Area
- ↳ Fishing Creek Recreation Area
- ↳ Ryan's Campground
- ↳ Waitsboro Campground and Ramp
- ↳ Cumberland Point Campground and RV Resort
- ↳ Consumer Compliments for all to see
- ↳ Consumer Complaints for all to see
- ↳ Pictures Pictures Pictures
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Area Websites / Businesses
- ↳ Camp Grounds
- ↳ Cabins and Hotels
- ↳ Suggest a new form
- ↳ Fishing and Hunting Guides / Services
- ↳ OhioNavy.com
- ↳ AMIDSHIPS Lounge
- ↳ Services Around Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Storage Units
- Dale Hollow
- ↳ Dale Hollow Forum
- ↳ General Forum of Dale Hollow
- ↳ Dale Hollow Photos
- Green River Lake
- ↳ Green River Forum
- ↳ Green River Lake News
- ↳ General Forum for Green River
- ↳ Green River Photo Section
- Ohhh Kentucky
- ↳ KY Talk
- ↳ Pictures Pictures Pictures
- Chit Chat and all that
- ↳ General Talk
- ↳ Dare we speak politics?
- ↳ Sports
- ↳ Random Pics of whatever
- ↳ Jokes and other hooey fooey
- Boater Tech Swap
- Buy Sell Tradin Spot
- ↳ Boats
- ↳ Boat Accessories
- ↳ Other
- ↳ Vehicles
- ↳ Stuff
- ↳ Job Board
- ↳ Made in America
- ↳ Boating Specific Commercial Announcements and Links
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Area Boats for Sale by Dealers
- ↳ Real Estate by Forum Members
- ↳ Private Boat Rentals (top secret)