Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Have fun with some jokes. Just make sure they are not racist, topless, or too offensive. As you can see we are pretty liberal on what is allowed just don't get offended if you push the envelope and something gets deleted. ;-)

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$parechange
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Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by $parechange »

A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said '2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911. 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!


THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR....

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
'My stupid computer keeps saying ...'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by DMS »

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

I heard she got fired from the M&M factory...kept throwing the "W"s away.
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff...Hope you get lots of brown squishy lumps in your Christmas stocking!. =)) :ymdevil: =))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by E_ »

Melted Baby Ruth bars?
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by $parechange »

LMAO! =)) I had to. :D Who else can I pick on thats older than me? =))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

E_HILLMAN wrote:Melted Baby Ruth bars?
Sheesh, POOPboy! You knows what I means! ~x(
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

Spare Change wrote:LMAO! =)) I had to. :D Who else can I pick on thats older than me? =))
And what makes you think I'm older than you, you old fart? /:) /:)
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by E_ »

RE3 we all know you are over 100 but I guess at least you don't look as old and worn out as Jeff... =))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

And you, poopboy, will be lucky to make it one more year! X(
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by E_ »

Good thing Santa got me a new rock to hide behind...
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

E_HILLMAN wrote:Good thing Santa got me a new rock to hide behind...
Trust me! It ain't gonna be big enuff!. I got's me a big ole "Super Duper E Sniffer Outer" from Santa and you ain't gotta prayer! It works on all poopy smellin' things like Fasters, pacs, crwkys, $pares, and any of ya other smart a$$es! :ymdevil: :ymdevil: So there! :p :p
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by Nervous Wreck »

E_HILLMAN wrote:Melted Baby Ruth bars?
put one of them in a swimming pool once. What a 'riot' !! :D :)) :))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by Nervous Wreck »

Why is it they say...'blondes have more fun'? :-?
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by katie »

re3too wrote:
E_HILLMAN wrote:Good thing Santa got me a new rock to hide behind...
Trust me! It ain't gonna be big enuff!. I got's me a big ole "Super Duper E Sniffer Outer" from Santa and you ain't gotta prayer! It works on all poopy smellin' things like Fasters, pacs, crwkys, $pares, and any of ya other smart a$$es! :ymdevil: :ymdevil: So there! :p :p




=)) :)) LOL, re3too, I think I've seen one of those! Does it look like a "metal detector", you just fill in the names on the dial and turn it to who you are looking for??? LOL. great gift :ymapplause:
Even a broken clock is right twice a day ;)
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

Yeah, that's the one, Katie. I have the super deluxe model that also makes very painful suggestions about what to do to those you locate. Ask my hubby iffin' it works! =)) =)) Oh wait...He needs to recover first! :D
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by E_ »

Oh chit :-o :-\ :-o
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by LC addict »

RE3, I just have to have one of those, heck its Christmas time I'll buy Katie one too! Can you send us one and just mail me the bill, Im sure whatever it costs it will be worth it!

Watch out poopboy........there aint gonna be a rock big enough!!!!! :ymdevil:
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

LC addict wrote:RE3, I just have to have one of those, heck its Christmas time I'll buy Katie one too! Can you send us one and just mail me the bill, Im sure whatever it costs it will be worth it!

Watch out poopboy........there aint gonna be a rock big enough!!!!! :ymdevil:
Consider it done! Run, boys, run! =)) =)) =))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by LC addict »

Thanks RE3, this is gonna be so awesome! Like RE said, watch out boys.........Game on! =))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by JLA »

Well I was going to post a blonde joke pic, but nevermind.

I don't want to join the 'dead men walking', that would be stoopid :-B
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by E_ »

Well I would say they are all hot air but a couple years ago LC made good on her threats and delivered some of those knuckle sammiches. :-o
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

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re3too wrote:Yeah, that's the one, Katie. I have the super deluxe model that also makes very painful suggestions about what to do to those you locate. Ask my hubby iffin' it works! =)) =)) Oh wait...He needs to recover first! :D



:ymdevil: =)) :)) :ymapplause: HOT d@mn! LC, re3's got one of those new models with a TAZER on it!!!!! :D ;) :ymdevil:
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

katie wrote:
re3too wrote:Yeah, that's the one, Katie. I have the super deluxe model that also makes very painful suggestions about what to do to those you locate. Ask my hubby iffin' it works! =)) =)) Oh wait...He needs to recover first! :D



:ymdevil: =)) :)) :ymapplause: HOT d@mn! LC, re3's got one of those new models with a TAZER on it!!!!! :D ;) :ymdevil:
Yeah! And they say us "seniors" ain't got no tech saavy! :p 8-|
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by $parechange »

Poor RE3, she paid for that expensive toy, but can't figure out how to turn it on. =)) =)) =)) =)) =)) =))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

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Spare Change wrote:Poor RE3, she paid for that expensive toy, but can't figure out how to turn it on. =)) =)) =)) =)) =)) =))
Can you not read? Pay attention, ole man! Focus! Hubby has recovered sufficiently from injuries received (from that gadget you think I couldn't figger out how to use!) to git his 80 year old butt up the ladder to take down the outdoor Christmas lights. And I got it set on "standby" jist in case he doesn't want to do it! :ymdevil: :ymdevil:
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

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I am to poor to pay attention. How much does it cost?
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

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Spare Change wrote:I am to poor to pay attention. How much does it cost?
And you call me dumb! Sheesh! /:) /:)
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by KYCanuck »

I just want to say that I appreciate ALL you beautiful 'young' ladies and I would never post anything like what was posted here. :ymhug: :-s


The rest of you are on your own! :D :ymdevil:
Brrrrr!

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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

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KYCanuck wrote:I just want to say that I appreciate ALL you beautiful 'young' ladies and I would never post anything like what was posted here. :ymhug: :-s


The rest of you are on your own! :D :ymdevil:



Why, thank you very much :ymblushing: :ymhug:
re3too, keep KYCanuck's name off of the dial for now....
LC, hold the mayo!!
Even a broken clock is right twice a day ;)
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

katie wrote:
KYCanuck wrote:I just want to say that I appreciate ALL you beautiful 'young' ladies and I would never post anything like what was posted here. :ymhug: :-s


The rest of you are on your own! :D :ymdevil:



Why, thank you very much :ymblushing: :ymhug:
re3too, keep KYCanuck's name off of the dial for now....
LC, hold the mayo!!
katie, usually I agree with ya but please take another look at who posted it! It's the same as if Jeffie had made the statement! Sorry, not buyin' it! :ymdevil: =)) :ymdevil:
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by KYCanuck »

re3too wrote: katie, usually I agree with ya but please take another look at who posted it! It's the same as if Jeffie had made the statement! Sorry, not buyin' it! :ymdevil: =)) :ymdevil:
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey! That wasn't nice at all! [-( [-( [-(

It was very sincere! O:-)
Brrrrr!

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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by katie »

=)) :)) =)) re3too, I did put the words... "for now".... at the end of the request.... =)) :ymdevil:
Even a broken clock is right twice a day ;)
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by KYCanuck »

Don't worry, I got my rock on order, till then I'll play nice! :)) =))
Brrrrr!

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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by re3too »

KYCanuck wrote:
re3too wrote: katie, usually I agree with ya but please take another look at who posted it! It's the same as if Jeffie had made the statement! Sorry, not buyin' it! :ymdevil: =)) :ymdevil:
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey! That wasn't nice at all! [-( [-( [-(

It was very sincere! O:-)
:ymsick: :ymsick: :^o :^o :ymsick: :ymsick:
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by JLA »

KYCanuck wrote:I just want to say that I appreciate ALL you beautiful 'young' ladies and I would never post anything like what was posted here. :ymhug: :-s


The rest of you are on your own! :D :ymdevil:
Suck Up! :)) :))
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Re: Blonde jokes or white for RE3

Post by KYCanuck »

JLA wrote:
KYCanuck wrote:I just want to say that I appreciate ALL you beautiful 'young' ladies and I would never post anything like what was posted here. :ymhug: :-s


The rest of you are on your own! :D :ymdevil:
Suck Up! :)) :))

:-\ I don't know what your talking about! ;)
Brrrrr!

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