Anger management

[$parechange]

Anger Management
> > When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
> > out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
> > someone you don't know but you know deserves it.
> >
> >
> > I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
> > make.
> >
> >
> > I found the number and dialed it.
> >
> >
> > A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
> >
> >
> > I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
> > Carter?'
> >
> >
> > Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing
> > number!'
> > and the phone was slammed down on me.
> >
> >
> > I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude!
> >
> >
> > When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I
> > had
> > accidentally transposed the last two digits.
> >
> >
> > After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
> >
> >
> > When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an a$$hole!' and
> > hung up.
> >
> >
> > I wrote his number down with the word 'a$$hole' next to it, and put it in
> > my desk drawer.
> >
> >
> > Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
> > I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an a$$hole!'
> >
> >
> > It always cheered me up.
> >
> >
> > When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my theraputic 'a$$hole' calling
> > would have to stop.
> >
> >
> > So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
> > telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
> > ID
> > Program?'
> >
> >
> > He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.
> >
> >
> > I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an a$$hole!'
> > and hung up.
> >
> >
> > One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
> >
> >
> > Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
> > patiently waited for.
> >
> >
> > I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
> > idiot ignored me.
> >
> >
> > I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
> > number.
> >
> >
> > A couple of days later, right after calling the first a$$hole (I had his
> > number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW a$$hole,
> > too.
> > I said , 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'Yes, it is.'
> >
> >
> > I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax It's a yellow ranch
> > style house and the car's parked right out in front.'
> >
> >
> > I asked, 'What's your name?'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
> >
> >
> > I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'Yes?'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'Don, you're an a$$hole!'
> >
> >
> > Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
> >
> > Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
> >
> >
> > Then I came up with an idea...
> >
> >
> > I called a$$hole #1.
> >
> >
> > He said, 'Hello.'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'You're an a$$hole!'
> >
> > (But I didn't hang up.)
> >
> >
> > He asked, 'Are you still there?'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'Yeah!'
> >
> >
> > He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'Make me,'
> >
> >
> > He asked, 'Who are you?'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'a$$hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , a yellow ranch
> > style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
> >
> >
> > He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don and you had better start saying
> > your prayers.'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$$hole,' and hung up.
> >
> >
> > Then I called a$$hole #2.
> >
> >
> > He said, 'Hello?'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'Hello, a$$hole,'
> >
> >
> > He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
> >
> >
> > I said, 'You'll what?'
> >
> >
> > He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your a$$.'
> >
> >
> > I answered, 'Well, a$$hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
> > now.'
> >
> >
> > Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
> > 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill
> > my
> > gay lover.
> >
> >
> > Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
> > Blvd
> > in Fairfax.
> >
> >
> > I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
> >
> >
> > I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
> > each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
> > surrounded by a news crew.
> >
> >
> > NOW I feel much better.
> >
> >
> > Anger management really does work!
> >

[E_]

awesome!